Ibintu 5 by’ingenzi umugore akenera ariko(...)

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Ibintu 5 by’ingenzi umugore akenera ariko ntamenye kubisaba


Yanditswe na: Ubwanditsi     2021-05-14 03:55:06


Ibintu 5 by’ingenzi umugore akenera ariko ntamenye kubisaba

Muri iki gihe mu nshako nyinshi zitandukanye, kimwe mu bibazo bihangayikishije abashakanye ni ibigniro (communication). Ku bijyanye n’uburyo bwo kuganira akenshi umugabo niwe ushinjwa byitwaramo nabi.

Ariko abagabo si bo bonyine bafite ibibazo byo kunoza ibiganiro. Hari ibintu byinshi abagore bakenera ku bagabo babo, ariko ntibazi kubivuga, cyangwa se ugasanga batinya kubaza kubera impagarara batinya ko ikibazo gishobora kuzana.

Ubshakashatsi bwakozwe abagore barenga 200 baherutse kubazwa iki kibazo: Ni iki kintu ukeneye ku mugabo wawe?, ariko ukaba utazi uko wakimusaba?

Dore ibisubizo bitanu bya mbere batanze:

1. Ubufasha:

"Niba abagabo batanze ubufasha nta mugore ugombye kububasaba, ibyo byaba bishimishije cyane". Ibi ni ibyavuzwe n’mwe mu bagore babajijwe mu busghakashatsi bwakozwe.

Igitangaje, igisubizo cyamamaye cyane mu bushakashatsi ni "Ubufasha," mu buryo butandukanye. Byaba ari ugukina, gukora ibintu bisanzwe bifatwa nk’akazi k’umugore, nko guteka no gukora isuku - cyangwa gufatanya mu gufata ibyemezo bya buri munsi, gukemura ibibazo by’abana, uruhare mu mibanire n’inshuti. Mubyukuri abagore batanze ibitekerezo byerekana ko bifuza uruhare rw’abagabo babo cyangwa se ubufasha.

2. Urukundo:

Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko kuba umugore akeneye urukundo atari imyumvire gusa, ahubwo ni ukuri kuzuye.

Abagore benshi bagaragaje ko badakeneye urukundo mu gihe cyo kurambagiza gusa, ko ahubwo barukeneye no mu gihe bamaze kubaka urugo kandi bigakorwa mu buryo bwateguwe neza ku buryo bizana ibyishimo mu muryango.

3. Gufata igihe ari wenyine:

Hafi ya 1/3 cy’abagore basubje bavuze ko bakeneye igihe cyo kuba bonyine bakitekerezaho, ariko bakagira ipfunwe ryo kubisaba. Abenshi bavuze ko abagabo babo baramutse bemeye kubaha umwanya wo kuba ari bonyine byabafasha kugira byinshi bashyira ku murongo. Kubona umwanya wo kuba wenyine biragoye cyane cyane ku bagore bamaze kubona abana kuko bahugira mu nshingano zo kwita ku muryango.

4. Guhabwa umwanya mu buryo butagabanyije:

Mu buzima umuntu wese iyo ava akagera aba afite ibirangaza. Abana ni bo bakunze gushinjwa ko bagira ibirangaza cyane bijyanye n’ikoranabuhanga, ariko bigenda bifata intera kuburyo , byageze no ku bantu bakuru.

Iyo umunsi urangiye, abantu bataha bafite inyota yo kureba ku mbuga nkoranyambaga. Ariko byagaragaye ko ari igihe cy’ingenzi cyo gushyikirana hagati y’abashakanye bagategana amatwi hagati yabo nta nkomyi.

Mu bikorwa byose bya buri munsi, umugore akenera ko umugabo we amwitaho ku bwinshi akamutega amatwi, agakemura ibibazo bye n’ibindi byinshi bitandukanye. Mubyukuri mugihe bahuje amaso umugore aba yifuza kubona umugabo we amwitayeho ndetse amuha umwanya.

5. Kwemezwa mu magambo (Verbal Affirmation)

Umugore ashobora kumenya ko ari umugore ukundwa cyane mu buzima bw’umugabo we, ariko kuri we kubyumva ni ngombwa bivuze ngo akeneye guhora abibwirwa.

Umugore umwe wabajijwe yagize ati: “Ndacyakeneye kumenya ko unkunda uko meze (uko ndi), kandi ko ngifite agaciro”.

Ubundi buryo abagore bakeneye kwemezwa mu magambo ni uko abagabo babo bemera uruhare bagize mu muryango haba mubikorwa, gucunga umutungo cyangwa kuguma murugo hamwe n’abana.

Kumenya ibintu bitanu by’ingenzi bikenerwa n’abagore bizafasha abagabo gusobanukirwa neza no gusabana n’abagore babo. Ni nako bigenda ku bagore bakwiriye gusobanurira abagabo babo ibyo bakeneye. Kumenyesha uwo mwashakanye icyo ukeneye ni ingenzi; niba uwo mwashakanye atazi ibyo ukeneye, rwose ntibizagerwaho.

Source : www.crosswalk.com

Vestine@agakiza.org

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